Sing Me Into Glory

For obvious reasons, my sister has been thinking and talking about the day when she will leave this earth. She has planned her funeral in detail and has already talked to everyone who will be a part of the service. She does not want my parents to have to deal with any of that. She has even seen to it that everything has been paid for and all arrangements made.
It has been difficult to discuss these things with her but I also admire her for it. Last night I dropped by to see her after midweek Bible study. I brought her a cd of the previous Sunday worship, including the singing. As we were listening to "Marvelous Grace" she began to cry. I immediately turned off the cd and apologized for making her sad. She told me that she was not sad but as happy as she has ever been. She then took my hand and asked me to make her a promise.
My sisters request was "if I go slowly and you are here, have everyone sing me into glory, I can't think of any better way to go home." It was very difficult for me to hear that request but very easy to make the promise. I cannot help but be reminded of Paul's statement in Philippians 1, "For me to live is Christ, but to die is gain."

Moving Fast

On Friday, my girlfriend and I flew to Nashville. We were picked up by friends and taken directly to the U-Haul store. By 9pm we were at the storage facility loading the truck and got to bed at about 2am on Saturday morning (me in a hotel and her at a friends house). By 8am on Saturday we were on the road. We took good old I40 to Memphis so she could pick up a few things from her parents home. We stayed there Saturday night and worshiped with her family on Sunday morning. We then hit the road again stopping only for gas, bathroom breaks and worship on Sunday evening.
Well, needless to say, it was a whirlwind trip and I am exhausted. But I am also scared to death. While this trip was a fast one, our relationship has quickly moved to another level as well. She has moved from Tennessee to Texas because of me. I have so many emotions as a result. I am humbled that the most amazing woman I know would bless me with her love. I am amazed that the most amazing woman I know could possibly love me. And I am scared to death that I am somehow going to mess this up.
So that's it. Everything has been moving really fast. But that's ok by me. I will keep enjoying the ride.

Oh Fill My Cup

Our Midweek Young Adult class at church is currently in a study of the Holy Spirit. It has been an amazing and transforming study for us all. Until now, I really don't remember the Spirit being mentioned very much in church. We would quickly read through any mentions of Him in scripture and on occasion refer to Him as part of the Godhead. Whenever a question was raised about Him, the panned answer of "He works through the Word" would be recited.
Now that we have been into this study for several months, I am both amazed and ashamed. I am amazed at all the Spirit tells us about Himself in His word. I am ashamed at how ignorant I have been of His power and work. Just one such passage is Ephesians 3:14ff. Here Paul shares an amazing gift, the source and purpose of strength in the inner man. My spiritual strength comes from the Holy Spirit as He works within me. How in the world did anyone ever get the idea that the Spirit works only through the Word? I asked my dad that question last night and he gave me another panned answer that I won't bother to share. But as for me, I trust that God has filled me to the fullness of Him. Praise God!

So Much Fun

My girlfriend recently moved here from the Nashville area. I seems that I was some kind of motivation, or perhaps she just loves this awesome Texas weather. Either way, it has been a blessing to have her near me. She has been a huge help to my family during a difficult time and she is a bright light in each day for me.

Yesterday she called me at work and told me we had a project and I was to meet her at Wally World after work. Upon arriving, she shared with me her plan. My sister has been talking about how much she misses her jogs in the park and being outdoors. So my girlfriend decided to bring the park to my sister. We bought a kiddy pool, rubber ducks, a park bench and lots of plants. It filled up my truck and her car. We then created a beautiful park in my sisters room. Complete with a pond and ducks. lol My girlfriend then went to KFC and picked up all the fixins for a picnic. My sister could only eat a little of the gravy but our picnic in the park was loads of fun.

So here is my point. No matter how difficult a situation might become, you can almost always find a way to enjoy the blessings of God. If you do, it really is so much fun!

Running on Empty

Due to the gas prices, I have a tendancy to wait as long as possible to fill up my tank. Last night was no exception. As I was leaving work that little red "gas tank" light came on. Well, for me that means I can go another 15 miles before I have to fill up. So I set my trip meter and headed over to see my sister. Of course I did not remember or notice the little red light when I got back in my truck to go home. So yes, you have guessed it. I ran out of gas. I was 1/4 a mile from my house too. It was not a big deal because I just walked home and got the gas can, but it did make me think.
How many of us do the same thing in our spiritual lives? We allow ourselves to drain down spiritually to the point that the warning light comes on. Of course that just means we can go another 15 miles. We get so caught up in life that we don't take the time to fill up our spiritual tanks. I see fellow Christians in my church family that fall into this trap all the time. And yes, I am guilty as well. So when you get done blogging today, go fill up your tank!

And A Child Shall Lead Them...

Yesterday was one of those Sundays that becomes etched in your heart and changes who you are. Our congregation has been wonderful to my family through our struggles and has made a point of lifting us up in prayer continually. Normally our preacher begins or ends his lesson with a prayer and always prays for my sister (Lori) and my family. For some reason he did not do it yesterday. His lesson came and went with no prayer at all. To be honest, I noticed but was not upset by it.
When the invitation song came, a four year old boy (Carter) went forward. Everyone noticed of course. Some smiles and some snickers but mostly perplexed looks. He went up and whispered something in the preachers ear. When everyone sat down the preacher said that Carter came forward to remind him that we had not prayed for Lori. We were all stunned. The preacher then asked Carter to come up and lead us in prayer and that any man who would like to could come up after him to lead in prayer. That little boy started what would be a life changing event. His prayer was the sweetest I have ever heard. After Carter finished, his father came up and then the Elders one by one and then... 45 minutes later the entire congregation was gathered around the stage and on the stage holding hands, praying and crying.
What was even more amazing is that we were in worship for more that two hours and I don't think anyone left. When I think of the pain my sister is going through it is hard to find any good. But then a four year old boy steps up to remind me that God is good all the time, all the time God is good!

Evergreen Elders

I have known for some time that our church family is blessed to have Godly Shepherds. They are true Shepherds who lead their flock with love, compassion and wisdom. But the events of the last two days stand as a great reminder of their love and our great God.

On Wednesday night I went to Bible Study but I was not really "in the zone." I was there in body but not in spirit. One of our Elders came up to me, wrapped his arms around me and said, "Jordan, start talking, just let it all go." So I did, I went on and on about my sister. I talked about her faith, her pain and how difficult it has been to see her "wither away." We sat there in front of everyone and cried and prayed together. It was truly an encouragement to me, but I figured that would be the end of it. I was wrong.
Last night my doorbell rang. Standing there were all four of our Elders. They had a big potted plant with them that they lugged into my living room. After the regular hugs and casual conversation, they began to explain the plant. Each Elder had something to say. They read scripture, read poems and prayed. They told me that this plant was an evergreen tree. They went on to say that they believed the evergreen tree was a good representation of my sisters spirit. They said that in the dead of winter, the evergreen will continue to produce new foliage. Likewise, even though her body is wasting away, like this tree, her spirit is becoming more and more new (like Jesus)everyday. They encouraged me not to focus on the outward body, but her inner person who is "evergreen." Wow, I was blown away. And again I thought that was the end of it.
This morning my mother called me. She said that an evergreen tree has been planted outside my sisters window with a note that read "We will come by and explain later, the Elders." Wow again! God is good!

I'm Back - Sorta

I have been away for a while now. I have not been in the blogging mood. I'm still not actually. But I figured that I had better make an appearance.
Please keep my sister and my parents in your prayers. My sisters health is failing fast and my parents and struggling. This is the second child they will lose. I am the youngest and when my sister goes home, I will be their last remaining child on this earth. I can't imagine the pain they have suffered, though I have watched it every step of the way. Please lift them in prayer often.

On The Joy Kick

OK, I am still on the "joy" kick. I have been focused on the subject of joy for days now. I have read every passage of scripture that uses any form of the word "joy". I have also considered the Greek. So this is a little of what I have found. Are you ready?

The Greek word most often translated "joy" is "chara". It has only one meaning and one meaning only, "joy". It is used in the New Testament 62 times. The word is most often associated with the believer. It is clearly something given by God and received by the believer. It is described as a "fullness", "unspeakable" and "indescribable". We are also told that we can have this joy in the midst of trial, pain and struggle. What a blessing it is to be a child of God!

The Joy of the Lord, it is my strength, I will not falter, I will not faint!

So Much "Gooder"

While life is full of problems, pain and struggle, it is also full of life, love and joy in Christ Jesus. No matter how bad the bad gets, the good in Christ is so much "gooder"!

Yesterday, God's Spirit gently reminded me of this fact. I woke up at 5:30am being reminded that my ribs are cracked and my leg is broken. I somehow managed to get out of the bed to find that my dog had gotten sick during the night. I then learned that it is very difficult to clean up "dog sickness" with a broken leg. Needless to say, at this point I was not looking forward to the day.

Then I began my prayer and study time. For some reason the word "joy" filled my mind. I began to look at all the passages that talk about joy in Christ. Jude 24 "before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy", I John 1:4 "that your joy may be full", I Peter 4:13 "you may be glad with exceeding joy", I Peter 1:8 "rejoice with joy unspeakable" and the list goes on. Basically, no matter how bad it gets, in Christ, the good is so much "gooder"! Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

No Pain, No Gain?

Why do we try so hard to explain pain away? We somehow believe that if we create some kind of purpose behind the pain, it does not hurt as bad. On Saturday I took a little tumble off of my roof. It seems that some of the shingles that were causing the leek were not attached to the roof at all. Therefore, when a 165 pound man steps on them, they begin to slide downward and take the 165 pound man with them. In the end, I suffered cracked ribs and a broken leg.

On Sunday, one of the older women at church asked me what happened. After I went through the story she just laughed and said, "well, no pain, no gain." I of course laughed along with her and then went away wondering what that really means. I understand it in the context of working toward a goal. However, does all pain produce gain? Does pain by its very nature lead to some kind of profit? Perhaps I have missed a Bible class or slept through a sermon, but I am not sure I agree with that concept. Some pain is just pain. It hurts and is not good. I do believe that God will give you what you need to survive the pain. I also believe that in the end God will work "everything together for good to those who love Him." But some pain is just pain.

I just thought I would share my bright and encouraging thoughts as you start your week. lol

Home Sweet Home

I love home. Some people love to travel but not me, I am a homebody. I spent the last week in Nashville working on my sister's house. I enjoyed seeing my girlfriend who lives in Nashville and I even enjoyed the work. Yet, I am so glad to be home. To sit at my kitchen table, drink out of my coffee cup, and sleep in my bed.

A friend called last night to see if I wanted to go down to the coast and do some fishing for a few days. My answer - "no thank you". As much as I love to fish, I am not leaving home. He told me that I am really an old man in a 21 year old body. That might be true, but this old man is staying home.

As for an update on my sister, she is getting stronger everyday and her counts are looking better. Of course, as soon as she is well enough she will go for another set of treatments and the cycle starts all over. Thank you for keeping her in your prayers. Have a great day!

When It Rains, It Pours and God is Still Good!

I am beginning to believe the old saying, "when it rains it pours." It seems like everything happens at once. I am currently in the Nashville area checking on my sister's house. When she found out how bad her cancer was she put the house on the market and moved back to live with my parents. Because the real estate market is currently dead the house has been sitting empty for some time now. The other day one of her neighbors called to report that the house had been vandalized. So I took the first plane out of Dodge to check it out.

It is difficult to explain the emotions I felt as I walked into this house. At one time it was full of life. Lori, her husband, the two dogs, the fish and countless plants. Outside were two horses, some cows and of course chickens. Now the house seemed broken and sad, almost dead. The back door was broken in and had been replaced with a sheet of plywood. The kitchen appliances were beaten up and turned over. Several holes had been knocked in walls and curse words spray painted on them.

My first emotions were of anger, resentment and self pitty. I am ashamed to admit those feelings, yet I would not be human if I did not have them. Shortly after arriving my cell phone rang. It was Lori. She wanted to know how things looked. I wanted to lie and tell her it was fine, but I didn't. I walked through the house and described everything in detail. Lori was silent at first and then simply said, "thanks Bro, it's going to be ok 'cause God is still good!"

Wow! That was just what I needed to hear. Now as I am trying to get the house back in order, those words follow me with each step I take, "God is still good!" So as you deal with the difficulties that come your way, remember that when it rains, it pours and God is still good!

I Hate Shopping!

There are not many things in life that I truly hate. I could make a long list of things I don't like very much like cleaning up after a sick dog or the great D/F.W. traffic. But I can't say I hate them. They don't drive me crazy to the point of insanity.

While I cannot say that I exactly hate shopping, I can say that is drives me really close to that breaking point. I am a "get in and get out" shopper. I know what I want, I go in, get it and leave. But then there is my dear mother. She loves to shop. I mean she really loves to shop, it's like at the top of her list of "most wonderful things."

Last night I was somehow talked in to going to the mall with mom. I know what you are thinking, "Jordan, it is your own fault." And you are right, I was asking for it. I should have known better. I think I would have enjoyed poking toothpicks through my eyelids more. Of course she did deceive me. She told me that we were going to just run into the Sharper Image store really fast to get a special pillow for my sister. While we did run into the Sharper Image store really fast, we did so by way of about 20 other stores. My biggest mistake was asking my mother where to park. You see, because I do not shop, I do not know where the stores are in the mall. So my mom put us at the other end of the mall from our intended destination.

The highlight of the night was when my mother decided to try on seven different outfits. Then of course none of them were right and she left without getting anything. To top it all off, they did not have the pillow we were looking for so we didn't get that either. The only purchase of the night was when I ran into the grocery store to buy Advil.

The moral of this story, I don't shop and I will never be tricked again!
Have a great day.

The Money Pit

Home ownership has always been a goal of mine. I decided at age 15 that I would be a home owner by age 22. With hard work and with my dad agreeing to put his name on the loan with me, I met that goal. For the most part, home ownership has been everything I anticipated. I love knowing that I can paint, replace and repair as I choose. I love sitting on my porch in the evening, knowing that it's my porch.

However, I am quickly learning the downside to home ownership. In the last two weeks I have had the "bearings" replaced in the air handler for the air conditioning, the septic tank pumped, the electrician out to hunt down a mysterious power outage in my garage and then yesterday I broke my toilet. Yes, my toilet (I will save that story for another entry). Needless to say, home ownership ain't always what it is cracked up to be.

I am beginning to learn the lesson "grass is always greener on the other side." Of course as soon as you move to the other side, you fall in the money pit.

Have a Blessed Lord's Day!

Praising God in Isolation

My sister is unable to have visitors at this time due to her cancer treatments. Only my parents are able to see her. She has been very sick and they had to shorten this set of treatments due to her health.

Yesterday my mother delivered a letter to me from my sweet sister. She had dictated the words to my mother who put pen to paper for her. While I have no desire to publicize my sisters ordeal or her thoughts, there is a short portion of her letter that may be a blessing to some of you. I thought I would share that portion with you this morning. I hope it blesses you as it did me.

"While my future on this earth is somewhat uncertain, my eternal future is sure. Jordan, please know that while I am still fighting this cancer, I am ready to go home when the call comes. For the first time in my life I can honestly say that I know the peace that passeth all understanding. God is so good! ..."

God brings us strength in many different ways. I know that God sent me strength through my sister's letter. God really is so good!

Have a blessed day!

21 Going On 50

I hate to go back to the age issue yet again, but oh well. On Sunday, one of the young adults told me that I was 21 going on 50. It was because I was trying to help the young adult class see the older member's point of view. I did not say that I agreed with them, I just thought we needed to consider things from their point of view. My point was that unity trumps opinion. And for the sake of unity we should look at issues with an open mind, considering the other people involved.

So, am I old because I think we should look at all sides of an issue? Am I old because I think that unity trumps opinion? Am I old because I think that if we are not careful we can be just as guilty of being "bull headed" and "close minded" as the older members?

I realize that I am sounding frustrated, but I am not. It has just been on my mind. I sometimes wonder if I am older than my years or if I am just plain crazy.
Have a blessed day!

A Lesson Of Old For The Church Today

Recently, my personal study has taken me to the book of Nehemiah. I am currently on my fourth read of this amazing book. I can't seem to get enough of it. Every time I read through it I gain new insights.
In my opinion, Nehemiah probably has more practical application for the church today than any single Old Testament book. It is a "how to" for unity, commitment, direction and overcoming.
As a "young whippersnapper" who thinks he can run right in and change things, this study has caused me to slow down. It has helped me realize that we have to come together as a body to build. The walls and gates did not fall down overnight and they will not be rebuilt overnight. It requires patience, love, understanding and above all reliance on God.
If you have not already, take a walk through Nehemiah. This lesson of old has great application for the church of today.

So Young, Yet So Old

It is interesting how age seems to be a matter of perspective. Before I go on, let me say that I know I am very young and that I lack experience. Having said that, the state of one's age seems to be based on which side of it you stand.
On Wednesday night I went to pick up my assigned kids for Bible study. We have an inner city program that our young adults operate and I do pick ups on Wednesday nights. Darius, a sweet 12 year old boy asked me what I thought when man first landed on the moon. He said that he had just watched a program about it. On the program they mentioned that many people at the time did not believe it was really happening. He wanted to know if I doubted it at the time. I asked him how old he thought I was. He told me that I had to be at least 40. Of course even if I were, I would not have been around for the moon landing.
Then after Bible class, an older member (I won't venture to assume her age as she did mine), came up and asked if I was mowing yards this summer to get a little extra cash. I explained that I would be glad to mow her yard for free. She went on to say that she lost her yard boy and she new there had to be a boy at church that would want to earn some money. I then asked her, "out of curiosity, how old do you think I am?" To which she replied, "I'd say you are about the same age as my great grandson and he is about 14."
One night, two very different perspectives. In the end it does not really matter. Yet, there is a lesson there. The view was the same for both people. I had not changed in the matter of an hour. But their perspective was based upon which side of the timeline they were standing on. This is worth remembering as we deal with people at church and work. It is all a matter of perspective. So young, yet so old.

Blessings in the Small Things

While I do not believe that God directly brings heartache and tragedy to His people, I do believe He will use those situations to admonish, teach and even bless. Over the last few years God has taught me many things. Last night I found myself making a list of the things God has taught me through adversity. Here is part of my list:
1. Look back to learn but not to wall er. Back in Alabama, my grandparents had hogs. Those hogs loved to wall er. They would get down in that mud and just stay there for hours. While it is important to learn from our past, we can't afford to wall er.
2. Happiness is a choice. God has blessed me with the freedom of choice. Though some would not agree, I believe we have a great deal of control over our attitudes and even emotions. Ultimately, I choose to rejoice in suffering or to die in it. I believe the Apostle Paul would agree with me on that.
3. It is more work to look for blessings instead of problems but far more rewarding. Problems are everywhere and they seem to jump out at us. Yet blessings are even more abundant, they just are not always as easy to find. It reminds me of the books "Finding Waldo." Waldo was in every single picture, you just had to look for him. Blessings are everywhere, if we look. Blessings don't have to be big. It may be a warm cup of coffee, my dog going all night without having to be walked, a glorious sunrise or a pleasant day at work. I find that when I spend my time looking for the blessings, I have less time to look for the problems. About a year ago my sister gave me a "blessing journal." Every night I write down the days blessings. It has truly changed my life. Perhaps when the pages are full I will start a "blessing blog."
4. Finally, the greatest lesson I have learned: GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME, ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD!

God's People Are Amazing!

Whenever I start to get a little down on the Church, God always does something to remind me of the blessings in Kingdom living. Last night was one of those times. Last night my family was sharing a final meal together before my sister begins a two week round of chemo treatments that will take her very close to death. It is a dark time for our family in that we lost my brother to suicide two years ago and my sister lost her husband in a four wheeler accident a few months back. The thought of my sister going through this battle has been difficult for all of us.
As we were eating, my dad thought he saw someone outside the dining room window. He went to look out and as he did, burst into tears. He fell on the floor crying. We all went to the window to see that my parents house was surrounded by our church family. They were all holding hands and praying. When they finished, they quietly returned to their cars and left. Wow!
I cannot begin to explain the flood of emotions that came over me. It is so good to be living in the Kingdom. As we deal with all of the junk of this world, our Heavenly Father lovingly reminds us that He is still in control and He is still love.

"Do you have faith?"

In my line of work I have opportunity to get into lengthy discussions with people. During my brief career I have gotten caught up in all kinds of talk. I have heard life stories, family secrets and even some frightening confessions. Yet, yesterday's conversation was a new one for me. I was working with this 22 year old college football player. He was big, really big. He was also one of these guys who kind of looked like he had been hit in the head one too many times. As I was working with him in complete silence, out of his mouth pops this questions - "Jordan, do you have faith?"

Wow, where did that come from? "What do you mean, do I have faith? Of course I have faith?" He then said, "Well who do you have faith in?"

This not only began an interesting conversation but also has made me look within myself. I was awake much of the night asking myself the question, "Jordan, do you have faith?" Not my dad's faith, or mom's faith but Jordan's faith. Now that I am on my own and out of "daddy's house" I can only rely on my personal faith. Just food for thought as we begin this day dedicated to our God. Have a blessed day of faith.

Remember When?

Last night was a first for me. I went to Cracker Barrel and purchased a two seater rocking chair for my front porch. When I got home I sat there with a Sun Drop and a moon pie and just rocked. As I sat there I thought of all of those summer nights in Alabama at my "Granny's" house. The adults would sit on the front porch rocking and the kids would be running around catching fire flies, throwing a softball in the dark or playing freeze tag. I remember wondering why the adults would just want to sit there and rock.

Now I have my own porch and my own rocker. All I want to do is sit and rock. No I don't feel old, I know I am still a kid with more growing up to do. But there is a great deal to be said for taking the time to sit on the porch. Taking the time to reflect on the day and on life. I don't know for sure, but front porches may be why my grandparents have been able to eat Southern Cookin for eighty years and still survive. Remember when?

Just a Cup Of Soup

Yesterday was just one of those days. I was running all day. First to work out, then to work, then to practice, then back to work, then to church to help lay carpet and finally home. At the end of the day I put my back pack on the table and started unloading it. Gym shorts (ewww), Bible, note pad, and a Cup of Soup. I had thrown it in that morning with plans for lunch. As I pulled it out, I realized I had not eaten anything all day. It was now 9:30pm and I had not even had time to be hungry.

As I held that soup in my hand it dawned on me that I had just written previously about time. It also occurred to me that I had not seen my sister at all that day. So here is my thought for the day. Instead of trying to cram as much as we can into the time we have, perhaps we should stop and take the time for a simple cup of soup.
Have a blessed day.

It's About Time

Funny thing about time, there never seems to be enough of it. We are always rushing around trying to get things done "in time." We are always thinking about what we could do if we only had "more time."
Personally, time has never been an issue for me. I never have really concerned myself with it. "Don't worry, be happy" has been my motto. I would "get there when I got there." I did not allow myself to be stressed over issues of time.
However, now my 24 year young sister is fighting cancer and suddenly time is of the essence. The funny thing about time is that it's all a matter of perspective. We all have the exact same amount of it. I have the same amount today that I had a year ago and yet it is suddenly far more precious to me. Now I find myself making charts and schedules. I make sure that I am not late and I make the most of all that I do. And of course, my most precious time are the moments with my sister. I cannot seem to get enough time with her. There are never enough hours in the day and time seems to slip away so quickly.
Thankfully, in Christ time ultimately does not matter. For in Christ, we function on God's eternal clock. I try to continually remind myself that my sister and I are both working on God's time, not ours. God is not concerned with seconds, minutes, hours, days or even years. God is focused on my eternal schedule. The funny thing about God's time, there is always more of it. Praise God!